Holland's Video

I am not really able to start writing about the loss of my baby girl. I have too many thoughts constantly spinning around my head, making things seem foggy. I am tired. Sometimes it feels like I am so heavy that standing up is an extremely difficult task. But I know I will write about it, and hopefully soon. Because if nothing else, I need to for me.

In the meantime, I wanted to share this video that was made by a family friend for Holland's funeral. Friday was a wonderful day, which sounds strange to say about a day when you bury your daughter; but it was. I was with so many family and friends. I felt loved. And above all, I was able to show off my little girl; particularly to those who never had a chance to meet her. And for those that were not able to attend the funeral, I wanted to be able to share a bit of Holland with them as well. So here it is.

Punkin Patch

About a week ago, we went to the pumpkin patch. We had a hayride through an apple orchard, pet some animals, picked out some "punkins" and Briz got her face painted. This video makes me laugh because I love how Briz can't stop looking in the mirror at herself when she's getting her face painted.

Her latest sayings

Here are some of Brizzy's favorite phrases these days:

-"Hmmm, let's see . . ."

-"What's next Mom?"

-"Here's the deal . . ."

- "That's a good idea!"

- "Oh my gosh!"

- "My hair is magical."

- "Oh well."

- "Dats okay."

-"Why?" (by far my least favorite, and probably the most common)

-"I'm just lookin' at it!"

So Long Summer

Summer is over, and really has been for a while. And while I am sad, it has been fun to start doing holiday things with Briz because she's old enough to get it. A couple weeks ago, however, we got a few days of warm weather, and as a true Oregonian I took full advantage of the sunshine and took B-riz to the pool.

One of Brizzy's big accomplishments of the summer (the first probably being that she didn't severely injure her baby sister), was swimming all by herself with just water wings. She also likes to jump off the side of the pool by herself, and swim to the side. We now have to practice her skills in the indoor Nike pool because our warmth and sunshine has left us :(