Sunday, November 30, 2014

Hawaii I

These are not in order, mostly because I am too lazy to try rearrange them.  I have a lot of pics from Hawaii that I want to share.  This is Part I of II.  

We were supposed to go to Hawaii back in April.  My parents' condo had just come available after their long term tenants left, and we thought it would be nice to take a family vacation before the new baby came.  Well, my placenta had other plans, and so we waited and pushed it back to beginning of November.  I wasn't too excited about taking a 5 month old.  And while it was a lot of work, it was still a blast.  Wembley LOVED the water and the sunshine and the lack of clothing.  Watching my girls enjoy themselves made all of the work worth it.

Nick flew separately because he had miles on Delta, and I had a companion ticket on Alaska.  We got there a few hours before Nick.  That night, Briz talked nonstop about being a Hawaiian girl.  She said, "Do you think the people at the pool thought I was a Hawaii girl?  I bet they did.  I bet they also think I don't have a Dad."

Aunt Brittany joined us as well for the first 5 days.  It was her real first time in Hawaii so we wanted her to get the full experience.  We went to a luau one night.  I was excited to have all of the free virgin drinks I could get, and Brizzy was enamored with the dancers.  Shortly into the program, Briz stood up and just started copying the dancers.  She was in her own world and didn't even realize that about half the audience was watching her,

One of the dances was with a girl in a Hawaiian wedding dress and she begged me to buy her the same dress.

Wembley and Briz had so much fun in the sun.  

Aunt Brittany got barfed on a lot, but barfing = bonding with Wembley.

She was also the designated baby holder.

Briz was trying to copy this guy by tearing apart a bunch of bushes and trying to make headbands out of them.  She then cried for a while because she was so disappointed she couldn't do it.

Getting ready for takeoff.  

SO excited!!!

The first day we all were there, we headed to the beach and tried out Wembley's cool set up.  It worked great!  So thankful for this travel bassinett.

Building some sand castles and doing some boogie boarding.  

My childhood friend, Sherry was on the island and we were able to meet up one day.  The last time I saw her, her oldest, Nathan, was 4 weeks old.  It was so fun catching up.  Made me feel like I was 12 again :)  Briz had fun tagging along with her boys.

One morning Brittany and Dad went surfing, so we went and played at the playground close by.  Briz loved playing in these cool trees and insisted I take some pictures of her.

Watching Dad and Brittany surf.  I love that she can play in the waves forever.

Trying to capture Wembley's cute little toes in the sand.  She loved the feel of the sand and the water.

Swimming with my gals.  I didn't realize until about a week into the trip that this floatie is supposed to be for kids 1 year or older.  oops.  Wembley did fine in it.  She kept trying to drink the water, and she often almost fell asleep.

Little fishies.

Wembley also enjoyed the luau.  But I did not enjoy it when she had an explosion.  Trying to change an overflowing poopy diaper in the dark was definitely the low point of that night.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Hand Me Downs

One of the great things about it turning to colder weather is pulling out all of the cute winter clothes.  Briz looked adorable in church and I had to capture it.  This coat once upon a time belonged to Aunt Sierra.  Brizzy hated the puffy sleeves but I basically forced her to wear it to church.  

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Mommy Daughter Date

Since Wembley has been born, Nick and I decided to rotate taking Brizzy on a one on one date.  

So we left this little cutie with her Dad on a Saturday afternoon and took off.

We were going to go ice skating, but I needed to stop at Target on the way and Briz decided that she would rather go shopping.  So that's what we did.  I normally don't love shopping, but we had a blast together.  

Brizzy begged and begged me to get here these high heel shoes.  I honestly might have, but they were way too big, so we settled for some red sparkly flats.  

We then went to her favorite place to eat: Red Robins.  I tried to engage in some serious and deep conversations, but she was more interested in coloring.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Two Wheels

Love living on a quiet cul de sac!  Briz conquered two wheels, no training wheels, and all she wants to do is ride her bike: rain or shine, warm or cold, she begs to come home and ride her back after school.  I'm proud of her for working through a lot of her fears.

Wembley loves being outside any chance she gets.  So often we will get bundled up, go outside, and hang out in the Bob while Brizzy plays.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Halloween 2014

Halloween was a bit of a weird day because Brizzy wasn't feeling great.  She acted like she was on the verge of getting the flu.  I spent the morning working and then went to her class for her Halloween party.  I manned the Halloween story station, while they did a cakewalk and Halloween crafts.  They also had special Halloween treats.

I knew Briz wasn't feeling well right away because she didn't eat any of her treats.  I felt so bad for her because she was so excited for the big day and tried to stay excited but broke down a few times crying.

I made her take a nap and she acted like she felt a little bit better that afternoon.  We quickly carved pumpkins and then got dressed for Halloween.  Nothing like procrastinating.  Brizzy had a hard time deciding whether she wanted to wear her Ariel wig or do the red hair spray.   

Briz was Ariel, Wembley was Sebastian (I found a great dog costume for cheap).  Nick was Aaron Rogers.  We went around our neighborhood and then quickly realized Briz was bored on her own, so we met up with our friends the Downs and they took us to some high flyers in their neighborhood.  Again, Briz acted strange as she only wanted to go to a few houses.

I was so excited to decorate my house for Halloween.  I did the inside a while ago, but I didn't get to my walkway until about 15 minutes before it got dark on the night of Halloween.  And then i quickly realized that it was silly because we wouldn't even be there to hand out candy. 

October Playdates

Briz had a lot of fun playing with friends in October . . .

We went with Piper and Blair to OMSI.  

Blair and Brizzy are in the same kindergarten class and play together a couple times a week.  Brizzy forced Blair to allow her to experiment on her hair one morning.

We had a fun Halloween themed party over at Piper's house with Pumpkin crafts, donuts, hot chocolate, Halloween stories, and decorating caramel apples.

She invited one of her newest and favorite friends over for a morning play date.  Chase had fun making these girls laugh all morning.   We made some Halloween treats and played Halloween Memory and Bingo.

Friday, November 7, 2014

3rd Holly Day

Our 3rd Holly Day has come and gone.  It was different for me this year.  My grief is always changing.  Sometimes its interesting to take a step back and see how it continues to evolve, never gone, because I never will not miss my little girl.  The weather turned cold and wet and rainy the week of the Holly Day.  The last couple years, Nick has been able to take work off on this day and we spend the day together but this year he wasn't able to.  I wasn't feeling very good.  I didn't feel motivated to do much.  I wanted to just sit around, eat junk food, and watch t.v.  But I had things I had to get done: work, baby, Brizzy, house.  That evening, we went out to eat to try do something lighthearted.  Nick and I talked about Holland, what we miss about her, what things would be like with her around.  And then we did our regular shopping for the Mason family.  Briz and Wembley were tired and whiney, so it wasn't extremely fun, but it still felt good to think about someone else.   Since that day, I have been reflecting a lot, just paying attention to how I feel.  And the overwhelming feeling I have had is gratitude.  Holland's death was so hard.  I wanted to die myself so many days.  There were days I remember not sure how I was going to move on with my life or function.  And now I pause every once in a while and just absorb all of the joy I feel.  I miss her like crazy and I still feel so sad thinking about how I don't get to have her right now.  But my faith in a heaven is much stronger than I knew it could be, and I have no doubts that I WILL one day be with her.  I feel gratitude for all of the blessings Heavenly Father has given me since her death.  In particular, I feel grateful to raise my girls with Nick.  I am not sure I would enjoy them as much as I do if I hadn't lost a daughter.  That doesn't make it okay, but its nice to see the blessings that come out of a tragedy.   And at this time of year, when I remember the most horrible day of my life, I believe it truly is a miracle that more than sadness, I feel joy, more than anxiety, I feel gratitude.  For a while I was confused about why God didn't give me a different miracle.  Why didn't he bring Holland back to me, why doesn't he let me see her now, have a dream, a vision, something?  I don't know the answer, except I know that perhaps I am okay without it.  I can still feel joy even though I don't have all of the answers.  It's humbling to know that God has worked miracles in my life.  Different miracles than I asked for, but I have benefited from the change that He can produce, the healing that comes with faith.  I love my sweet angel and have felt her particularly close these last few weeks.  She is still an important part of our family.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Holly Hoop 2014

The Holly Hoop was a wonderful, beautiful day.  There was a lot of love felt that day.

Amander and Sam came out from Utah and Vegas.  I got to meet little baby Zeke and it made me so happy to see not only these amazing friends, but others.  I really do have such good friends.  Sometimes I pinch myself, wondering how I got such wonderful people in my life.

We remembered baby Sara Kate Mason.  She lived 6 days and was so beautiful and sweet.  

Here is a beautiful video that Kristen made (Sara's mom) of her life.  Just a warning that you will most likely cry a lot.  I love this sweet angel baby, without having ever met her.  I can feel her spirit and know that she is a special little girl.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Big Kid

Since Briz has started school, she has seemed like such a big kid.  It makes me sad a lot of the time; I'm not sure I will ever be ready for her to grow up.  But there are some fun moments as she gets older.  

We took her with us to see Meet the Mormons.  It was our first time taking her to a "big person" movie.  Not sure she loved it but she did great and was excited to be there with us.

She got her kindergarten pictures back, and I was so happy that she didn't use her weird extra squinty smile.  She looks so much like her Dad.  

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

4 months

Considering the fact that Wembley is almost 5 months old now, I thought I would share about her when she was 4 months old.

4 months was a marker of when Wembley started to be a lot less miserable as a baby.  Her acid reflux has made her so unhappy, and so its been so fun to see her acid reflux improve and her happy little personality come out.

4 months was a low point for the amount of hair.  I am happy to report it has started to grow, slowly.  I never imagined I would have such a bald baby.

Wembley loves her Papa, particularly when he sings to her.  They have a lot of happy singing/talking between them.  But this is probably because Papa never lets her cry and gives her nonstop attention.

She druels a lot!  It seems that there is pretty much always druel or puke coming out of her mouth.

We started her on rice cereal and have since introduced green beans.  She loves rice cereal and she is starting to like the green beans.  

She continues to love bath time and is a little splashing maniac in the bath.  I am pretty sure she thinks she can swim.

I started to not swaddle her arms to make me feel more secure in putting her in her crib.  She flings her arms around a ton at night, so I started giving her little things to cuddle with.  I have since moved her to the pack n play.  I love watching her cuddle.

Nick has been starting his standing tricks with Wembley and she couldn't love it more.  She thinks she is so big and loves her Dad's attention.

I love our feeding time when she talks to me and smiles.  

I got this hat from a friend and thought it was really funny dressing her in it.  

Waiting for the bus with Briz.  This was pre-storm weather.  Now walking to the school bus in the pouring rain with  baby is interesting.