Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Four Months


Today is the four month marker of the day Holland died: October 22, 2011. It is strange because it seems like it just happened, and yet it feels like forever ago that I held my baby in my arms.  That was probably the hardest day of my life, and yet I would relive it over and over again if it meant I could hold and feel my little girl again. I would in a heartbeat.
Nick, Briz, and I miss our little Hoo.
She has officially been dead twice as long as she was alive already, and yet she has taught me more than any other person ever has. I know that my life will never be complete without her alive: things would always be better if she were here. But I am very grateful for the lessons I have learned and how I have grown from this experience.  

P.S. This picture is of Holland about a week before she died.  And even though it's not great quality, it's one of my favorites because it looks like her: chubby cheeks, big eyes, and very content with life.  She was singing along in this picture to Florence and the Machine (she also had excellent taste in music :) ) post bath.

2 comments:

McKenna said...

I've never seen this pic before. I love her cheeks. So awesome. I thought of her today, too.

Amander said...

Oh my goodness - love that sweet girl. One of my big regrets is that she passed away just a few days before I was supposed to meet her.

I will always think of her (and you) on the 22nd and 23rd.