Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Do's and Don'ts of Cruising

We just got back from an awesome cruise with Daniel and Carly.  We sailed out of Tampa and stopped in Cozumel, Belize, Honduras, and Grand Cayman Islands.  It was amazing and so much fun.  We laughed a lot, and got a lot of sun.  Pretty much two of my favorite things.   For those of you who are interested in cruising; here are some good tips for you.

Don't: Wear white saggy swimsuit bottoms because people will think that you are wearing a shirt and underwear to lunch.
Do: Eat at the 24 hour Pizza Pirate a lot.  And also eat a lot of soft serve.

Do: Hang out by the pool and get some sun.

Don't: Go down the water slide.  You will either have to push yourself all the way down or you will go so fast that you slam your foot into the wall.

 Do: Play as much Trivia as possible and wear your medals around the ship as much as possible, instigating compliments and high fives from random strangers.

Don't: Do Trivia while the annoying know-it-all plays.  Because he will beat you and you will lose.

Do: Go on a cruise with the Nielsons.

Don't: Go on a cruise without the Nielsons.

Don't: Spend two hours getting ready for dinner on a cruise ship.

Do:  Spend two hours eating 8 courses of food at dinner.

Do:  Get your picture taken with an awesome "professional" background and with some amazing poses.

Don't:  Accidentally steal cruise pictures and then leave them in the card room (also labeled the Trump Room by Daniel and Nick).

Do: Win $2.50 on the slots

Don't: Spend more than 5 minutes in the casino because your clothes will smell like smoke and may make you kind of dizzy.

 Do: Go swimming with sting rays in Cozumel, and hold a parrot after.

Don't: Feed the sting rays.  It's weird and gross.

 Do: Play on a trampoline in the water for hours.

Don't: Pee in your swimsuit while jumping on said trampoline.

Do: Dance as much as possible.

Don't: Spend more than 3 minutes in the Cruise Terminals because you will have to take 36 pictures with random tourist attractions.

Do: Play spades as much as possible.

Don't: Piss Carly and I off while playing cards on a cruise ship.

Do: Go to Belize and go cave tubing and swimming in natural spring rivers.

Don't: Give a dollar to the kid who is dared to ask you for money.

Do: Play Put put golf as much as possible.

Don't: Lose at a put put competition when another stupid girl cheats to win.

 Do: Go to West Bay Beach in Honduras. It's the most gorgeous beach ever.

Don't: Try to get four people stacked in the water.  Someone will get hurt.

Do: Go zip-lining in Honduras and hold a monkey after.

Don't: Do the superman pose; you may feel violated by Fast Eddie and the pose may hurt.

Do: Visit each town that you visit.

Don't: Walk a mile in downtown Georgetown, Grand Cayman Island when it's 100 degrees outside with about 100% humidity.  You will get tired.

Don't: Smile too much in photos.

Do: Look as angry as possible in pictures in case people think you may have had TOO much fun.

 Also another good example of a good photo pose.

Do: Visit the amazingly clear beautiful water.

Don't: Spend three hours throwing rocks in the ocean.

Do: Pick up all kinds of cool rocks on the beach.

Don't: Pick up a broken beer bottle.

 Do: Go swimming as much as possible in the ridiculously warm ocean water.

Don't: Go for more than 30 minutes without a floatie in the Ocean along the Seven Mile Beach.

Do: Take a picture with a pirate ship in the background.

 Don't: Forget sunscreen!  It's really hot.  Also, don't have bad luck and have crappy weather.  This is very important.

Do: Sing NSYNC and "It Wasn't Me" in Karaoke.

Do: Go Clubbing and gain a few random fans on the boat.

Do: Go to the comedy shows, particularly, if they involve a funny British man named James.

Don't: Hurt your face laughing too hard.

And the final one . . .

Do: Leave Briz with awesome grandparents and an amazing aunt Brit.

Don't: Miss your kid too much because they are back home waiting for you, ready to give you hugs, kisses, whine, and ask WAY too many questions.  Don't  forget to take the silence for granted!!!


Carly said...

Loved it. Will you e-mail me pictures? I am picking up the CD of pictures from our underwater camera today. I'll send you those.

Also, what is Nick doing in the picture of all of us in front of the Stingray swimming?

Jen said...

This is great! We've never been on a cruise before.. I'll take your suggestions into consideration. Haha. Did you go to Roatan Honduras? We were there last December and loved it! We did the zipline too, although I wasn't bold enough to do the superman. And after hearing what you thought about it, I'm glad I didn't.

It's been fun to see Brizzy grow up on your blog. Time flies by much too fast. You guys have such a cute family.

Amander said...

Every time you and Carly blog about the cruise it makes me angry and jealous inside.

Whitney and Seth Cottle said...

Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun. I liked that cruise too. I like the way you set up this post. It was very entertaining! Can't wait to see ou soon.