Friends

One thing that I have been blessed to realize, even more so than I had three weeks ago, was how I truly have great friends. These aren't just people I see or talk to once in a while; people I spend time with, but rather people that understand me completely and are loyal. They are people with whom I am vulnerable and open. They are smart, funny, creative people that I love. My friends have been so kind and generous during this hard time that it is hard to express how truly grateful I am. But one thing I do know is that it is beyond humbling. And its difficult because I wish I had the capacity at this time to return the kindness.

My friend Anne flew in last weekend from DC to stay with me for a little bit. I couldn't even remember the last time I saw Anne. It has been years, but it didn't matter. It was so good to have her here, to just talk for hour and hours and to share a little bit of Holland with her. Not to mention to talk about regular life kind of things, and just laugh. We didn't do too much. But on Saturday, we ventured out into Portland. We went to a little art festival up in Washington Park, to the Rose Garden, and Multnomah falls.

Saturdays are hard for me, as they are weekly markers for how long Holland has been gone. But this was a wonderful Saturday. It was cold and wet, but it still felt so good to get outside, breathe the clean air, and just remember how beautiful Portland is. And oh yeah, Briz tagged along because she thought Anne was here to visit her :)

Also, on Thursday, my friend Maggie came and spent the day with me. I got to show her (as well as Anne), Holland's gravesite. I know it's not Holland herself, but it makes me feel like they are able to still meet her in a weird distant way. Thank you Maggie for talking openly about life and everything and for just coming to see me. Next up is Mander!

I have had a lot of moments where I get down and depressed (a lot). But when I think about my friends, I am able to take a step out of my grief and sadness and feel very blessed.