This Baby

I was trying to think of a post about this pregnancy/baby that summed it up, but then it all seemed very pessimistic, and perhaps one day this kid of mine will be offended.

After my last post, things got better.  Mostly cause I laid on the coast of the Caribbean for a week.  Hard to complain about that.  But here are some updates since . .

- My belly grew a lot in Cancun.  I am now 21 weeks and I feel like I about 30 (or how I have felt in the past at 30 weeks).

- The big news of course was I found out we are having a girl!  I never know what I am going to have.   This is the first pregnancy where I had somewhat of a hunch and I thought it might be a girl.  But I just chalked that up to only having known girls.  I wanted a boy.  I don't really care about this being a girl, I was just bummed because I wanted to feel like I had the freedom to be done with this kid if I wanted to.  I know I still could be, but I think it would make Nick very sad to never have a boy (and me too).

- Even though I was a little bummed, it was so fun watching this crazy little girl.  And she is crazy.  She kicks and punches non stop.  Her hands are always in fists and she is just boxing my uterus all of the time.   She doesn't stop.  This is her fourth ultrasound now and the technicians get very frustrated with her because she has never cooperated and never stopped.  I also loved seeing her sweet little profile, which of course included chubby cheeks. 

(Sidenote, I know people say you can't see much from ultrasounds, and perhaps that may be true with one, but after having 7 or 8 with each child, you get to know them pretty well.  Briz at her 20 weeks had a huge belly - still does.  Holland had really chubby cheeks, and she stayed that way).

- I also got another nice little surprise during my ultrasound.   I found out that I have Total Placenta Previa (I should have known that the baby using my placenta as a bed/trampoline was unusual).  This means that the placenta is covering my cervix completely.  It's fairly common, particularly at this stage, but the fact that it's total makes it a little more unusual.  I will most likely have to have a scheduled C section and will be fairly high risk the third trimester because you can bleed and have early signs of labor.  My doctor already is telling me to take it easy and Nick is getting mad at me for doing too much.  I am okay with the C section but nervous about managing my life for the next 19 weeks.  How the heck do you "take it easy" when you have a busy 4 year old and two jobs?  

At this point, I sort of have a different attitude.  My general response to everything has become, "Whatever."  I don't mean that in an apathetic way, because I do find myself getting more excited about this little girl.  But I just realize over and over how little control I have over things.  So bring on the migraines, the placenta previa, the cholestasis (at least I'm not sick anymore!).  It will just make me love this firecracker even more.