The last week or so I have been feeling extremely grateful. I found out two weeks ago that I had to be on moderated bed rest. I initially felt extremely sorry for myself and just overwhelmed as to how I was actually going to do that. I had been trying to take it easy, but limiting myself to being on my feet or sitting just a few hours a day seemed impossible. After a few days of just being sad and angry, I decided to start planning so that I can do what I need to, to keep this baby and myself healthy. Planning absolutely saved me, and since then I have just felt blessed. My ward has completely taken over, with bringing me meals, offering rides for Briz, trips to the grocery store, playdates for Briz, and babysitters, I feel completely taken care of. Not to mention the fact that I have so many friends/family who have offered to help. I can't begin to describe how grateful I feel. I have learned a lot about letting things go, asking for help, and making life more simple. So in these past couple weeks of simplicity and service, here is what we've been up to.
Briz and I try to make a quick weekly trip to the library and stock up on books, movies, CD's, etc. I also have been reading pretty much nonstop. I love having the excuse to read books that I have wanted to for a long time, but never felt I had the time. Here is Briz watching one of her favorites, Oklahoma, and doing some interesting dance moves. She keeps me entertained while I am down. I am grateful for my Brizzy Boo. She has been so sweet and thoughtful of me. She is very protective of me right now, and wants to be helpful. She also gives me and my belly a lot of hugs and kisses.
Part of getting these movies has been me indulging in some horrible kid movies. I mean, they are extremely painful. And I swear Briz gravitates towards the worst ones. The lower quality the better! I try to get out of watching them as much as possible, but since Briz has been out with friends so much, I feel guilty and force myself to sit next to her.
This past week, our friend Ella turned four (Brizzy thinks she is her cousin). Ella is so funny. She calls Nick, "Nicky." She also came up to me and asked, "Does Bwiz have any bwuddas?" I told her no, but she has her sister Holland in heaven, and her baby sister is still in my tummy. She then proceeded to rub my chest while she said, "Awww, baby sisteh." Nope, the baby is not there. Just a bit farther south.
I am grateful for Nick who has been such a good sport. I am not an easy pregnant woman to live with, particularly when I'm trying to figure out how to delegate to him. But he forgives me every day and has a positive attitude.
Auntie Sandy came into town, and it was so great to see her. Briz loves her "auntie" and loved her even more after she bought Briz a necklace kit that they did together. She also knitted me some adorable boob hats. (I'll post a pic sometime). They're hats that have nipples on them and look like boobs. Perfect! We're sad that Sandy and her family live all the way in Alaska. We don't get to see them enough.
And I am in my third trimester. Hallelujah! When people ask me how far along I am, and I tell them, they usually give me a sympathetic look, as if to say, "Oh geeze, you have a ways to go." Most of the time it feels too long, but then sometimes when I think about it being two months, it feels soon. I have finally started to get excited about preparing (again about 90% of that is because I can't wait to not be pregnant). As I start to think about all of the things I want to get or do before she comes, it makes me excited to meet this little girl. I love wondering what she looks like and what her little personality will be. I am a little bit strange and in the past have loved being a mom to a newborn, so I am excited for that phase. Lots of cuddles, kisses, spit up, diapers. Sounds glorious right now :)
Here is the ultrasound from 25 weeks, and she is sucking her thumb. At one point she was kind of chewing on her whole hand. Always moving though. I think she's kind of a little maniac.
I am grateful that everything with her so far is healthy. She is a strong girl, and watching her move makes me feel like I don't have much to worry about. I wonder if I just notice it more because I am lying down so often, but its one of my favorite things to just sit and watch my stomach shift and move while she does her funny movements. Last week I had a lot of contractions and a lot of times I feel a lot of pressure and pain, but in the end, I still have a feeling that everything will be okay and that while I need to listen to my doctor, I don't have anything to worry about. Plus the itching hasn't gotten bad yet (keep your fingers crossed!!!)
And I continue to be grateful for work. I am grateful that I am still able to work! It has been a lifesaver, because even though I am down, I have endless lists of things to occupy my mind; things that I want to do. At times I feel like being a therapist is selfish, because I always leave with a greater perspective on my own problems and uplifted by being with others who are trying to figure things out just like I am. I feel like perhaps I get more out of it than my clients.
And even though I can't enjoy it as much as I would like to, so grateful for all of the beautiful blossoms and the spring time. We were supposed to be going to Hawaii this week, so I am glad I will get at least some bits of sun :)