'Tis not the season for irritation. I know this. People are happy all around me. Excited about Christmas. But I don't generally feel like joining in the fun. I have my moments where I think, "Oh yeah, I could definitely get swept up in the spirit of Christmas." But it quickly fades. I am trying to force myself to listen to Christmas music mostly for Brizzy's sake, but most of it just feels too upbeat. Yes, I generally love Christmas. But I can't be chipper and forget what I don't get to enjoy because my Holland isn't here. I understand that I sound bitter and it's probably because I am. I know this. And I also know that it can make people feel uncomfortable, but I can't help but feel that way when a big part of me still feels like it is dead. I did, however, find a Christmas song that I can get on board with. I don't ever seem to get sick of things that remind me of Holland. So here is my current Christmas compromise: I can listen to this song and still allow myself to be sad.
5 comments:
No, Christmas and anger (or depression) don't mix very well. But that's a beautiful song - it's a good compromise. And now that song will always remind me of Holland, too.
And I like hearing about your bitterness. I mean, I wish you didn't have any reasons to be bitter, but you do, so it's good to hear you talk about it.
i heard this song on pandora a few days ago. love sarah and love this song. a decent compromise, i'd say.
That's one of my favorite Christmas songs and one of my favorite Christmas Albums, I love her. There's another song on that album that I love and you might like a lot too. It's slower and not all cheesy, happy Christmas. It's called "River." I love angry Christmas! You have reasons! Do and be however you need to be!
I love this song. I often find the holidays to be depressing even though I recognize that they are also a time to be happy - so for a couple years now I have found this song to be on repeat quite often. If this Christmas you need a depressing christmas mix - i'm your girl :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts - I always like to hear how you are doing, good or bad. Miss you.
I love this song. I saw that someone else also commented on my favorite song from that album "RIver". I was actually thinking of you and Holland the other day while listening to it. I am sure you relate. "It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees, they're putting up reindeer singing songs of joy and peace, I wish I had a river I could sail away on..."
Love you so much. My thoughts turn to you so often.
Post a Comment